Repost: Break Up, Make Up & Break Up Again? (Jul 07)
First few months after a break up always feel like hell. It may not seem that bad at the beginning… but it just gets worst after a while. Break ups always have “lag effect”. What may seem like a relief at first will start hitting you after you start forgetting the pain you went through or the reasons for breaking up, and worst still when you start recollecting all the memories and happy moments you spent together…
When this happen, you start feeling lonely and start missing him/her, and start feeling like probably you should have just try to work things out after all. You start finding all excuses to forgive the other person’s wrongdoing, or flaws. You start forgetting your determination to break up and to move on and right now, all you wanted is to go back into your comfort zone. At this very point, you are at your weakest and this is where most people turn back and go back to their ex.
Well, if things work out well this time, your luck must have been really good or you probably did made a mistake for breaking up. And if this is the case, well, CONGRATULATIONS.
But often, this is not the case. Things usually seem perfect for the first few weeks, or probably months and the same old arguments come back into the picture later on. How many of you have been into a break up, make up, break up again and make up again situation and finally realised you are not meant for each other?
It’s just tiring to see my friends getting into the same situation again and again. Seriously, how many times do you need to break up to realised that someone is not right for you? Don’t you realised that, the longer you dread to solve the problem, the harder it is to solve? So often I hear my friend saying this, “..But we have been together like forever… and we have been trying so hard to work things out…” So how many times do you want to try? Did you not tried hard enough for the last few times? If everything were so perfect, why would you break up in the first place? Did you really make up because you felt that things are going to work out this time and you are finally ready to compromise and that you have made a wrong decision for breaking up, or did you just need someone and got too used to that someone? Or maybe your friends are telling you that it’s such a waste for you to break up because you have been together forever?
Think about it.
You see this hanging bridge? It may seem old, rickety, flimsy, unstable etc. and if you are not careful, you might just slip and fall. The height just scares the shit out of you. All you see is uncertainties, and you don’t even know if you going to make it through safely.
But before you decide to run back, think about this. Do you really want to stay on this side of the bridge forever and be somewhat happy, or do you want to take the risk of having 50/50 chance to be happier? Do you really want your chances to stop just here? Are you sure you will stop whinning if things just don’t work out again? Running backwards may bring you certainties, but by doing so, you will never know what’s on the other side, and you will never know if something better is on the other side. Well, no doubt there’s a risk of falling harder, but life is always about taking risk and learning from mistakes right?
I know it’s hard… but just hang in there for a little longer. Once you have make up your mind to cross that bridge, don’t look back. There may be obstacles, but once you get through it, you will realised its not that hard after all.
I’m always here to support you. Don’t be afraid of loneliness. Coz you are not the only one. Never settle for the second best. Coz you, you and EVERYONE OF YOU… definitely deserve the BEST.